Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"it'll go by faster than you can say no jaden you didn't rule the school and you aren't the smooth criminal" --jenna

I feel drained. I've cried so much already today and he hasn't even left. I feel like tomorrow is a big, dark cloud looming above me. The rain is my tears, destined to come no matter how I hold back. I can feel them already.

One O' Clock tomorrow he'll be gone. For two years. I'll be eighteen when he comes back. I can't believe that. Cal, the newest member of our family, will be 2. Right now he is only 2 weeks.

I feel like my eyes are a dam, just waiting to break, again.
Tonight was really hard.
My father made us all go and tell what we loved about Jaden. Then we watched a video from conference, Brother Holland when he spoke about the book of mormon. There were a lot of tears, and testimonies. Seeing Jaden tear up was especially hard, as he spoke of how much he is going to miss the children. And then seeing him say goodbye to everyone. I can't believe this day has come.

But, he is doing the right thing. I know it and I am so proud of him for it. I know he is going to be an amazing missionary and teach all those people the gospel so they can have the joy that we have in our life.
I just want to say that I know the church is true. I would be nothing without this gospel and I am so grateful for it. I'm so grateful for the knowledge that we can be together forever. And I can't wait to hear all the stories from Jaden's mission of the people he taught that to.

Also. Jaden's girlfriend and I are BFF's now.
We're going for heartbreak shakes next week.
I really like her.
We'll wear keds together.

2 comments:

Jenna said...

aww i like you a lot too!! i can't wait for our heartbreak shakes and our ked trend! see ya tuesday!

Anonymous said...

don't worry. my brother left in march. it gets better, your heart races when you get a letter. i got to talk on the phone with him on tuesday. he spoke thai to me. that was cool. here is a quote for you.
"a missionary is someone that leaves their family for 2 years, so that other families can be together forever."
he is doing the right thing. the Lord will protect him.